Gay men use escorts for a variety of reasons. Some see them as a way to get used to sober sex or as a tool for overcoming an addiction to crystal meth.
Male escorts struggle with the stigma of their profession. They face a double stigma because of homosexual desire and prostitution, both of which are often aligned with subordinate expressions of masculinity.
Become a gay escort
Being a gay male escort can be a lucrative career for those who are comfortable with the sexy nature of their work. It requires a high level of professionalism and clear communication with clients. It is also important to prioritize safety, especially during intimate encounters.
When Hurant founded Rentboy, male sex workers were almost always shown in a negative light in film (think The Living End and Midnight Cowboy). It was a radical idea to present them as people who were performing an important service.
In a digitally connected world, it is easy for escorts to find new business by simply opening up another website. The extensive use of chat forums makes it difficult for government agencies to regulate or investigate cases of abuse or trafficking.
Know what you want
Gay escorts can vary from guys who are in the throes of drug addiction and desperate to make money, to highly-organized professionals with clear customer service and policies. They can be self-employed and book their clients themselves or they may work via an agency which handles the advertising, booking, and payments for them.
In addition, escorts are in a controlled and private environment which is safer for both them and their clients than the risky hooking up that men would do in back alleys or at public places where police could sting them for solicitation. Some men hire escorts to practice sober sex after recovering from crystal meth addiction, for example. Other people hire escorts for the pure pleasure and human connection that they offer.
Be clear about your expectations
Some gay men choose to work as escorts because they are in debt. They use sex to pay their rent and utilities, and they are willing to put up with less than optimal conditions. They may also take drugs like crystal meth and GHB (or “G,” a liquid solvent) during sexual encounters. This can lower inhibitions and nullify the need for condom use.
Illegality – Some gay men feel uncomfortable patronizing escorts who are breaking the law by offering or performing sex services. This can undermine their self-esteem, especially if they view laws against paid sex as prudish and antiquated. It can also create discomfort if they feel that the ends do not justify the means.
Know your limits
Gay men often seek escort services to meet needs that are not being met in their regular relationships or through other sources. Whether it is for sexual gratification, or emotional and mental support, escort work provides a safe and controlled environment to achieve those needs.
For example, some gay men in early recovery from a crystal meth addiction have found that using an escort to practice sober sex can be helpful. This gives them time to get used to sober sex without having to worry about sobering up in the middle of an intense moment of physical intimacy.
Other clients use escorts to fill a need for touch and affection. As they develop a rapport with their clients, gay escorts can become more than just an object of pleasure.
Take a release test
The notion that men might be paid for their sex with other men was a revolutionary one. It presented male sex workers not as victims, but as people who deserved dignity for doing important work. Rentboy donated to HIV/AIDS groups and promoted its escorts as “love what you do” models.
For many gay men, seeing escorts is about sexual expression, or escaping from feelings of sexual frustration and deprivation. It is important to be clear about what you want, and to be respectful of the escort’s boundaries. It is also important to practice consistent condom use, and to speak openly with your escort about your sexual health. This can help reduce the risk of STI transmission and increase both partners’ satisfaction with their encounter.